Middle Aged Fat Lasses Podcast

Riotous chat from a couple of middle-aged matrons who swear too much & have no fucks left to give.

They’ll be banging on about body parts, sharing entirely inappropriate anecdotes, and exploring all that life has thrown at them.

Breasts, dating, periods, exercise, housework, cooking, being fat, getting naked and everything in between. Brace yourselves, listeners…

Series 1: Episodes

8. Naked

Ever wondered what it would be like to unwittingly attend an orgy or accidentally shoot a truck load of fireworks at a group of naked men, at midnight, while dancing round an ancient stone circle? Well wonder no more!
In this episode the lasses recall a few memorable mishaps, as well as exploring nakedness in all its glory. Get your kit off, love!

7. Housework

It started off as a chat about keeping clean and tidy, but within minutes the ladies are celebrating the word slag, and fizzing with outrage about the creepy 1980s TV interviews on 19 year old Princess Diana's virginity. They also talk about their own housekeepng skills. One is an domestic expert, one is a scruffy old mare.

6. Exercise

In this episode the ladies grudgingly admit that a bit of jiggling about might be good for the health. One Sarah  reveals why she was born to wade through the surf hoisting a fisherman over her head, while the other Sarah bitterly regrets her accidental encounter with The Real Housewives of The Sahara Desert. Hilarity, blisters and chafing ensues.

5: Periods

On the blob. Crimson tide. Shark week. In this episode the Middle Aged Fat Lasses cast a keen eye over periods.
The ladies recall the sophistication of a tampon carrier,  being terrified about starting their periods in a swimming pool, and blood clots in the shape of Africa.
Everything you've ever wondered about other people's periods and more.

4: Cooking

This episode sees Sezl & Simons chat all things culinary, from the delicate beauty of a Parisian feast, to the first taste of tikka masala after a night up ‘The Grinning Rat’. As usual the ladies veer wildly off topic, exploring subjects from chickens multi-purpose bum holes, to tracking down Bette Midler in a New York City restaurant.
Disgraceful behaviour.

3: Dating

Copping off, going on the ratch, being told 'my mate wants to go with you'.
The two Sarahs, Sezl & Simons, recall the less-than-sophisticated courting rituals of their youth, as experienced in 'Keith's Hod Rod Disco'. As Mrs Simons hasn't been on a date since before the internet was invented, Sezl explains the rules of dating in modern times as well as exploring the world of online romance.
Outrageous merriment from a couple of saucy old matrons.

2: Fat

The two Sarahs, Sezl & Simons, wade unashamedly through all the the joys and indignities of being fat. They go from giddy to murderous as they reveal times when being fat has given them power, as well as exploring occasions where their size has been used as a weapon against them.  As Sezl rightly says, ‘If we were heifers we’d be prize winners’.
Outrageous merriment from a couple of ample matrons.

1: Breasts

In this episode the two Sarahs, Sezl & Simons, discuss the ups and downs of owning a pair of breasts. They explore the breasty-words they love (boobs, tits, chebs) and  the ones they hate (shirt potatoes, norks, jugs) as well as looking at breasts from a sexual, biological and practical point of view. Hilarity ensues.

Sezl & Simons Revealed.

Sarah Ledger

Sarah Ledger’s career as an English teacher and pastoral leader spans over 35 years. She has worked in comprehensive education in schools in London, Essex and Cumbria.
In the early 2000s, Sarah had a foray into comedy as a stand-up comic and comedy promoter.
In addition to teaching, over the last twenty years, Sarah has worked as columnist and feature writer for local and national publications. She is a speaker and host at live events.
Sarah is the mother of two adult children. She lives in Cumbria with two Patterdale terriers and a one-eyed cat.

Sarah Simons

After a long career in show business, first as an actor, then a screenwriter, Sarah Simons went back to college where she fell in love with learning. She gained a heap of high level qualifications in English, teaching, and behaviour studies.
She has since worked as a college lecturer  and wrote a weekly column on education in a leading national publication for over 10 years. Nowadays she mainly works as a freelance writer, speaker and consultant.
Her teenage son has recently flown the nest, so she now lives with her husband and two daft dogs, Betty and Walter, in Nottingham.